Reality.

I just read a wonderful email from my firend manny, and it has inspired me to write this.

I just want to be real with all of you. Being real has been such a huge thing to me. I wish we could all be more real with eachother. With our strengths, our struggles and our weakness'. i feel like i havn't been real with you. I've felt that I need to let you all know that i am ok, and that i have everything under control, and thing are progressing at rapid rates and miracles are happening. But honestly, god is moving (as always), but it's not like that at all. I am going through a really hard time right now. Where everything i thought i ever knew or figured out, i dont' know. I am finding myself so immature, if you will. I feel alone, and am having trouble relating with my group. I feel like i am not free to be me. Maybe because i am surround by people who seem to not share the same faith as me, or maybe because i won't let them. I just want you all to know that i don't have it all figured out. Not in the least. I am constantly growing and learning, and stumbling and falling. But you know, if i was perfect...well i wouldn't be me. God is moving, i know he is. Sometimes i don't feel it, or can't see it, or touch it. But i know that its happening, otherwise i wouldn't be where i am at. This is me, the broken, lost, Melanie. On some crazy mission in Uganda. What the real purpose of this mission is, only time can tell. But in the mean time, i am going to keep living everyday. I want to thank you manny for that email, its spoken to me, and i think i will read it again. I am encouraged though. Sometimes i feel so alone that there is no use. Am i really making an impact here? I struggle with the language barrier. Its huge, cause there is no english church, no fellowship. But maybe that is my crutch, and God is slowly detaching it from me. I honestly don't really know what is going on. Right now i cant clearly see what God is doing, but that's reality. I feel way better typing this blog to you all, than making up some feel good sound good stories for you to read.

I am meeting amazing people though and i will try and write more about that soon (for you cam and others)

So, it's almost 12 midnight and i am sitting in the glass room internet room of the Backpackers Hostel in kampala. I miss home alot. It's christmas and no family. Kinda sucks, but i will live. I will be on the Indian Ocean though wich is sweet!!

I hope you enjoy the pictures and please pray that over this christmas holiday i will come to relize something. Something worthwhile. I am going to be real with you though, and not feel like i need to make up some amazing missions stories. I know you would like to hear them, so pray that they will come. And i will share for sure!!

I love you all

melanie